2011 Reflections and Prayers for 2012

As the year of 2011 comes to an end, many people stop and take some time for deep reflection.  Some ponder the life events that occurred over the past 12 months, and try to find meaning or purpose in all of it.  Others move past the past and look on ahead to the future; making resolutions and plans for a prosperous and successful new year.  Then, there are those who do a little bit of both, reflect on the past 12 months while also planning for the next 12 months to come.  

When I reflect on the past 12 months so many thoughts come to mind, first being of my sweet Eleanor who was born on February 28^th in the safety and comfort of our home.  Her birthday is special in two very important ways:

• 1)      The Lord blessed us with a new daughter, Eleanor Michelle!  I experience two very painful miscarriages (for a total of 5 miscarriages) prior to becoming pregnant with her and I had prayed fervently that the Lord would bless my womb again – and He did!

• 2)      I experienced the wonderful blessing of a homebirth.  It is by far my most cherished accomplishment.  Having Eleanor at home permanently removed all fear of natural childbirth that had been plaguing me since I had my first child 5 years ago.  The Lord proved Himself merciful and gracious in that He gave me the strength and confidence to trust in His handy work in creating and designing my body to not only endure the pain of labor and childbirth but to fully enjoy and  revel in the miracle of life in the most precious way possible.  He secured for me a special bond with my sweet Eleanor that only furthers my deep appreciation for the miraculous life of all of my children. He used that one single experience to breed a confidence and passion for life, truth, and wellness that no one can steal from me!

Honesty is the next thing that comes to mind when I think about the past 12 months.  Sometime in the middle of the year I shared some of the struggles that my sweet Sofia had been having, and to my surprise I received an abundance of encouragement and love that far surpassed my expectations.  I also learned that I was not alone, and that other Christian families had struggled with the same thing, or were currently struggling.  The Lord brought people into my life that He used to help us help Sofia.  Over the past few months there have been great changes and all glory goes to the Lord!  Modifying her diet, incorporating a few new vitamins and supplements, not to mention all the time we spent praying for wisdom, has born more fruit than we ever imagined it would.  We got our daughter back!  She hasn’t had a meltdown in a couple of months and has just continued to blossom under the close and watchful care of parents who would go to the ends of the earth for her.

I’ve found that in the course of the past 12 months I’ve grown closer to my husband, and even more reliant on him.  I’ve learned some hard lessons on friendship and where my loyalty is to ultimately lie.  I’ve learned that relationships change, some for the better, and some for the worse and that is ok – life goes on.  I’ve learned that no matter what happens, I can depend on my husband for the loving compassion and encouragement that cannot be rendered from any other person.  Whether I have one friend, five friends, one hundred friends, or no friends; my heart is cherished by no one more than my husband.

Oh my darling children – the Lord has used the last year to renew my love for my children.  They are the Lord’s little gifts of joy all wrapped up in tender sweetness.  I have the great honor and pleasure of loving such precious daughters.  Sofia, Charlotte and Eleanor are my true delights; packages of loveliness.  I love being the mother of three little girls; each one with their unique personalities adds something distinctly different to our family.  I pray that the Lord gives me grace and wisdom when instructing them in the ways of the Lord, and discipling them for the work of biblical womanhood.  I have watched Sofia and Charlotte blossom into such tenderhearted little girls.  The Lord is showing Himself Sovereign in their lives as we witness Him cultivating their hearts for His use.  They love to learn about the Lord and each day the Lord blesses us when they share their hearts with us.  What an amazing honor to know that, at this moment we have our daughters’ hearts.  May we never take the awesome responsibility of shepherding their hearts for the glory of the Lord for granted.  We take the duty of guarding their hearts and minds so seriously for fear the Lord would smite us should we cause them to stumble.  They are so precious to us, how much more precious are they to Him, the One who made them?

Biblical womanhood and the journey of being the keeper of my home has been a quest from the moment I married my husband.  I’ve learned that when you are the mother of three little ones, the best place to spend the majority of my time is right at home with them.  There truly is no other place I’d rather be anyways.  My ministry is to my husband and children, and if I find myself being busy elsewhere, then I’ve effectively neglected my post, and things begin to fall apart.  My heart and affections need to be “plugged in” at home, throughout the course of my day and even throughout the night.  The Proverbs 31 woman never let her lamp burn out, and thus is the life of a mother with little ones – especially an exclusively breastfed little one.  

Helping and encouraging my husband is so important for the vitality of our marriage and family.  When scoffers try and attack his character or the genuineness of his personality then of course I am right there to defend him and to pray fervently against the attacks of the enemy.  I love my husband dearly, and am so very thankful the Lord allows me each day to be his helpmeet. 

Within this past year I have finished my Bachelor’s degree, which I had feared would never happen.  There were times that I simply wanted to give up, but I had much to prove to myself and to those who have labeled me a quitter all my life.  I remember as a teenager someone saying that I would never amount to anything; that I would always be a “screw-up”.  I am thankful that the Lord chose to show Himself merciful in my life because I would otherwise be something to be pitied.  All of my accomplishments are His, for I can do nothing good apart from Christ.  I’m thankful that He has given me a tenacity and a fierce desire for Truth, because if you saw the me that was before Christ, it sure was a pathetic sight to behold.  To God be the Glory!

The Lord showed my husband favor shortly after Eleanor was born and provided a wonderful job as a QA Manager/Analyst/Program Designer/IT Support/whatever the boss needs done!  He works for a Medical Software Development company and has learned more about the medical industry than he knew before.  He has earned a raise and is due for another review in a few months with another raise in store.  He enjoys his work, and one of the perks is that he can work from home if he has to; and has on several occasions worked late into the night or over the weekends.  He is currently creating custom graphics of the different parts of the eye (another hat he wears at work), and has enjoyed learning about that as well.  There are several people he works with who are of the same convictions as we are on mainstream medicine and health nutrition - including the owner, and this has given us great encouragement in the face of some who do not have the same convictions.  I've had the pleasure of watching my husband grow in a company that has given him job security and a place to hone his skills.  God is Good!

Not only do I have a crochet/sewing cottage business, I have recently became an Independent Distributor for Young Living Therapeutic Essential Oils.  I'm excited about this new business venture and joining Mrs. Stacy McDonald and many others in teaching others about the importance of health and wellness and how true Therapeutic essential oils can play a vital role in achieving optimum health.  I created my own website Southern Scentsabilities and am behind excited to share everything I've learned and am continuing to learn about caring for your families health through  the use of essential oils! 

 As this year comes to a close, and we all embark on the uncharted journey of a new year, I pray that the Lord would continue to remove those things from my heart and my life that seek to draw my affections away from Him and my family.  I pray that He would continue to guide me and teach me His ways.  I pray that He would strengthen my love and devotion for my husband and children, and cause me to find even more joy in being the keeper of my home.  I pray that as I continue to share my life through Serving God and Family that it would always point people to Christ.  I am who I am because the Lord has been merciful to me, and I pray that even when I write things that are controversial or against mainstream philosophies that I will remain consistent in a Biblical worldview, never faltering for fear of scrutiny or hateful criticism. 

I pray also that each one of my readers has a wonderful and blessed New Year, and that you will continue to seek the Lord in all things.  Love your husbands and children, and most of all, love the Lord with all of your heart! Soli Deo Gloria!

Serving God and My Family,

Crystal <><

7 Years of Wedded Bliss

Our Wedding Day - December 20, 2004

Each year when this very special day arrives I get butterflies in my stomach just like I did on our wedding day.  You know - those butterflies of giddiness; of pure excitement and anticipation.  Honestly, I feel this way each morning I wake up knowing that the Lord has spared me through the night and allowed for me to be Malachi's wife for at least one more day. 

I am at a loss for the words that would do justice for how I feel about my husband, Malachi.  Apart from my relationship with the Lord, I cherish my husband above all things.  He has been a faithful companion, more gracious to me than any other human.  As far as friends are concerned, he is my best one; never taking me or my affections for him for granted.  He is the kindest, most patient, and gentle man I have ever known.  He knows the darkest parts of my past and yet has always made it known that he is proud of me.  I pray each day that the Lord would make me half the spouse  that Malachi is to me.  My husband is my "Knight in Shining Armor" and has always come to my rescue when the world around me seeks to devour me.  I feel secure and safe in his arms, and I know that I can always hide behind him when I  need a break from it all. 

The Lord chose the perfect husband for me, and I don't think eternity is enough time to spend each day thanking the Lord for Malachi.  I love my husband with a love that even I find difficult to understand at times.  My children have been blessed with a gift that I myself have never been given - parents who love the Lord and seek to serve Him exclusively.  My little girls witness each day the tender kisses and loving hugs their father so affectionately lavishes me with daily.  They watch quiet carefully when their daddy helps their mommy into the van on family outings, and pay close attention when he makes a B-line straight for me upon arriving home from work each day.  One of my most important prayers is, should the Lord chose for my daughters to ever marry, that He bless them with a husband like Malachi - and that they will settle for nothing less. 

Of all the people in my life and in this world, my sweet husband is my favorite!  I love him more and more each day, and pray that I am the helpmeet to Him that God intended me to be.  I cherish the many love letters that Malachi and I have in our possession.  What a wonderful and priceless gift we have to pass down to our children when we are gone.  During a difficult time before we married, Malachi wrote this to me in one of his many letters:

"When you want to hear from me and you are unable to get to a phone, just read all of these letters I gave you, the words on them are true to my heart  and they do not fade with time." 

~ J. Malachi Sewell

I am truly blessed beyond measure and look forward to the next 7 years with my beloved!

Serving God and My Family,
Crystal <><

Love Letters

On this 1st day of December I am reminded that Malachi and I will be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary in 19 days (December 20th). Every year around this time the Lord brings back such sweet memories of how He brought Malachi into my life. I am aware that our "meeting" is unusual and possibly an exception, but no less a testimony of the Lord's Divine Providence and Sovereignty in our lives.

We met shortly after I was released from the ICU after my suicide attempt back in October 2004. Malachi was employed at the Crisis Stabilization Unit that I was transferred to for observation and treatment - and to determine whether or not I would be sent to the State hospital for further treatment/observation. I met him the very first night I was at the CSU after a kind elderly nurse attempted to comfort me in my confusion and despair about all that had taken place in the prior days. She escorted me to a bay area and asked me to wait quietly while she enlisted the aid of another colleague. The colleague was none other than Malachi! He sat and listened to my life's story through the tears and anguish, and gently encouraged me in the Lord. He was so thoughtful to sit and listen to me until about 4am the next morning, under the watchful supervision of the kind elderly nurse. He also shared with me some things that the Lord had recently brought him through and testified to the unspeakable reward there is when we trust and obey the Lord.

Through the weeks that followed Malachi and I exchanged over 100 letters. Letters that the Lord used to greatly encourage and edify me. Written words that flowed from two hearts that desperately desired to honor the Lord. Letters written that revealed just how wounded I was but yet how amazingly healed I was becoming through the Lord Jesus Christ. These letters are now affectionately known as our "Love Letters". They reveal the progression of a friendship that the Lord founded for each of us, that He also made blossom into a godly romantic affection.

The letters written between me and Malachi (over 100)

I reminisce on those events as though they took place just yesterday, and I still marvel at what the Lord has accomplished in our lives. I am so grateful to have those letters in my possession. I can go back and read through them anytime I wish. They are a constant reminder of the Lord's love for me and my husband. I couldn't imagine our meeting being any other way. Each part of it points right back to the Lord - what an amazing thing!

Have you written love letters to your spouse? Do you write love letters to your spouse? I highly encourage every wife, no matter how silly it may seem, to take a few moments, sit down and thoughtfully and lovingly pen (not type) a letter expressing your love, respect, and devotion to your husband.

The book that Malachi and I are currently reading together is "The Sweetness of Love and Marriage in the Letters of Believers: The Christian Lover" by Michael A.G. Haykin with Victoria Haykin. It has been so sweet to read the letters that Martin Luther wrote to his worrisome wife, or the words written by John Calvin describing his utter heartbreak when he lost his beloved wife, Idelette. Upon losing his wife, Calvin writes to his good friend Pierre Viret:

"And truly mine is no common source of grief. I have been bereaved of the best companion of my life, of one who, had it been so ordered, would not only have been the willing sharer of my indigence, but even of my death. During her life she was the faithful helper of my ministry. From her I never experienced the slightest hindrance. She was never troublesome to me throughout the entire course of her illness; she was more anxious about her children than about herself."

Wow! What great affection and respect Calvin had for his Idelette. Will my husband speak so graciously of me should the Lord take me before him? I do pray it be so. I know for me, I have not one negative thing to speak of my husband. He has been the kindest and most lovingly person in my life. He has never complained about anything - but has always been a spring of encouragement and long suffering. I only pray the Lord would make me half the spouse my husband is to me. My life would not be the same without my darling husband.

If you have the opportunity to purchase the book I mentioned above, please do, you will be greatly blessed by it. I especially love the letters between Philip and Mercy Doddridge. I may post more on the two love birds later. But for now I leave you with this:

"the woman was created, and given to man in marriage, not merely for the purpose of propagating the species, but for that of promoting his and her own felicity." 

~ Samuel Stennett (1727-1795)

Serving God and My Family,
Crystal <><

Anxieties

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

I am not a “new mom”, as I have two other little ones running around, BUT, I do experience the “new mom” jitters or anxieties.  Over the past week anxiety about Malachi returning to work has become my constant companion.  I am prone to worrying and struggling with anxiety and have battled it since I was a young child, although over the years I have gotten better at managing it and communicating with my husband when I am becoming particularly overwhelmed by anxiety.  

After having Sofia nearly 5 years ago, I dealt with a pretty bad case of postpartum depression, and when Malachi went back to work the anxiety I felt about being alone with the new baby was very overwhelming.  Fast forward to when I had Charlotte 26 months later, I didn’t have time to worry about how I was feeling because I had just birthed a child with a heart condition.  So with Charlotte my focus was totally on her and not one ounce was on me, which is why I was in a zombie type state for the first year of Charlotte’s life.  Now here we are, with my sweet Ellie in the world, and everything is perfect; yet I still battle the same old anxieties about Malachi going back to work and leaving me here to care for three children.  It may sound silly to some to have moments of panic when the reality of the responsibility starts to bare down on one’s shoulders, but for me it causes much anxiety and worry.  

I take my role as a mother quite seriously, and it is the reason for many of the decisions Malachi and I make in regards to how our children will be raised.  We both feel more prepared and better equipped this time around at making our demands known and setting boundaries that we did not think to set before.  With this I think brings worry about how others, particularly family, will react to these new boundaries or methods for raising our children.  I am by no means a “people pleaser”, but I also don’t thrive on drama, and in fact abhor it.  So, not only do I battle the normal worries that are accompanied by the prospect of my husband going back to work, but I worry about other people as well…which in reality I understand is irrational because I cannot control how others respond to how Malachi and I live our lives.  

Lately I have been seeking the Lord more to help me with these feelings of anxiety, and the most common verse that comes to mind is the “be anxious for nothing” verse.  In fact, I am sure many of you as you read this are thinking of leaving that verse in the comment section as a way to encourage me.  However, today Isaiah 41:10 was brought to my attention:

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

I have read this verse a million times before, but never has it meant more to me than right now.  I know that when Malachi goes back to work on Tuesday I will more than likely have a bit of a meltdown, but even in that moment I know the Lord is with me.  Oh how silly we can be when our emotions try to take hold of our reality and cause us to see the world through distorted lenses.  My heart knows the Lord is with me, and that He alone is my strength, but oh how quickly that can be dismissed when I have crazy hormones running rampant which cause my emotions to get carried away.  It isn’t even Tuesday yet, and I am already fretting over how the day will go without my beloved husband here to support me through it.  

Adjustment.  No one likes it, and everyone struggles with it at some time or another.  Some manage better and adjust with ease, and others, like myself, struggle through it as though I were going to labor all over again…although my labor this time with Ellie was short and sweet.  Maybe my labor and delivery with her is an indication for how life will play out once Malachi is back at work and life brings our new “normal”?  I won’t know the answer to this until Tuesday. 

The fear of the unknown.  I think this is what captures most of what I worry about; the unknown.  How will I manage with two little ones running around and a nursing newborn?  Indeed I will manage like the women before me, by the strength of the Lord, but I know this in theory and not in practice at the moment.  I would guess that many mothers feel this way after having a new baby, regardless of the birth experience.  The anxieties and demands of the day, month, and year can often times prove to be extremely overwhelming, but in the end, all we can do is trust in the Lord and rely on Him with complete abandon.  He has determined our path and blessed us with these sweet children, and we must stand strong in the faith because our children’s souls are at stake.  

Putting things back into perspective.  As I write this blog, I am using it to get my thoughts out on how I am feeling which ultimately forces me to take the focus off of me and put it back on the Lord and the mission at hand.  My mission?  Raising a Godly seed for the glory of the Lord is my mission.  Often times this mission becomes clouded with pity parties that are ignited by my own pathologies.  I am thankful that the Lord uses those imperfections to prove Himself faithful in my life.  I am not alone, not even for a nanosecond.  I know that I have a supportive husband who will do everything in his power to help me make a smooth transition on Tuesday.  I also know the Lord will be with me throughout the day.  I know that it may be rough at first, but eventually the schedule will level out, and I will become acquainted with this new normal of having three little ones to care for while my husband is working.

My hope is that I will make the transition of Malachi going back to work gracefully, but I also know that it make take some time to get used to.  I pray that my husband and children will bear with me as I may have some weepy days of frustration with myself.  I pray that even in those times I see the joy in my days and praise the Lord for blessing me so.

Serving God and My Family,

Crystal <>< (SAHM)

Eleanor Michelle (1 Week Old)

Eleanor Michelle 1 Week Old

Today my sweet Ellie is one week old!  I can't believe how fast time is going by.  I wish I could stop the clock and make time stop just for about, well, a few years!  Eleanor is such a calm and mellow baby.  She is nursing wonderfully and has already gotten back up to her birth weight plus a few ounces! 

Sofia and Charlotte are so thrilled that she is here, and both have been "big helpers".  Malachi has been the most amazing husband.  He has kept the house in order, kitchen clean, prepared all the meals, and even did all the grocery shopping yesterday.  I don't know what I would do with out his love and support.  Each day I fall more in love with him and appreciate him a million times more.  He has always put me and the children before himself, and I never ever second guess his devotion to me and his family.  I praise and thank the Lord for continuing to mold and shape our marriage in a way that reflects His love for His Bride.  It brings tears to my eyes to think that my children are witnessing the Gospel of Jesus Christ in action every day.  This is something that I never witnessed as a child or a young adult, so it is monumental that my children, the next generation of Sewell's will have first hand knowledge, exposure and training in the ways of the Lord just by witnessing their parents maintain a Godly, Christ-centered marriage.

Happy One Week Birthday to my precious miracle, Eleanor Michelle!

Serving God and My Family,
Crystal <>< (SAHM)

For My Sweet Eleanor!

I made these for my sweet Eleanor!  I can hardly wait to put them on her little feet when she's born!  

I am 31 weeks now and totally feel like I am 31 weeks!  Eleanor is still very active, and reacts to music, to me talking, to her sisters squealing, and to the voice of her daddy.  I have really enjoyed every moment of this pregnancy, and while I will miss being pregnant when it is all over, I still can't wait to snuggle with my Ellie!  We will be meeting with our homebirth midwife next week, which makes me even more excited.  This week and weekend we will begin the task of getting the house ready.  I have been crocheting like a crazy woman lately, and have enjoyed every minute of it.  I have been able to make things for Eleanor, Sofia, Charlotte and some of my friend's children.  I love it!

Today Malachi and I celebrated 6 years of blessed marriage!  Each year I am reminded of the Lord sovereignty in my life when our anniversary roles around.  I am forced to be reminded of the events that led up to meeting Malachi and how the Lord orchestrated every single minute of it.  I am so thankful the Lord looked upon me and showed me favor; I am so undeserving.  I pray that Malachi and I are given many more years together with each other and our children.  The most joyful part of our marriage has been the Lord's gifting of children.  It certainly makes our lives fuller and more exciting.  I am truly a blessed wife and mother! Soli Deo Gloria!

Serving God and My Family,

Crystal <>< (SAHM)

Celebrating 6 years of marriage!

I love this man with all my heart!  I am truly a blessed wife!

Doing Good to Our Husbands

“…and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

This verse has come up several times recently, as has the issue of wives not respecting their husbands in the manner in which they speak about them when they are frustrated with something their husbands are or are not doing.  This is a pet peeve of mine, mostly because it is highly disrespectful to the husband being slandered, and he is not present to defend himself.  I am often reminded during times like this that there are always three sides to any story; the wife’s side, the husband’s side, and the truth. 

 

I am sure we all get a bit frustrated with something our husbands are doing or are not doing, however, we must be very careful and cautious how we speak about our husbands to other women (or men) in an effort to vent our frustrations.  The person we ultimately should be taking our concerns to is the Lord, as He is the only one who can search the heart and convict of sin.  There are times where a wife (or husband) may need to seek godly counsel on an issue, but even that should be carefully prayed about beforehand.  Our marriages are a sacred union that is supposed to be an earthly symbol of the relationship between Christ and the Church (His Bride).  Interestingly enough, God’s word tells us the operating order of the marital relationship in Ephesians 5:22-33.  We need to remember this order as it may be very helpful during times of frustration where it becomes easier to say and do things that dishonor our husbands, thus dishonoring ourselves and our families.  

Many times I think wives have this idea that everyone else’s marriage is perfect, and fall into coveting what other women have.  Scripture tells us quite clearly in Exodus 20:17 that we are not to covet anything that belongs to anyone else.  There are no perfect marriages.  Every marriage has its frustrations and things that need to be worked through.  As Christians we are constantly being conformed into the image of Christ, which leads me to believe no one is a perfect wife or husband.  We all sin daily, and we are all in need of God’s grace and mercy.  We need to keep this in mind when we begin finding fault with everything our husbands do or don’t do.  

One thing I think wives tend to forget is that we are the ones called to be the “keepers at home”, not our husbands.  So, if a husband doesn’t clean dishes or help out around the house, he is not necessarily sinning.  In most cases I think our husbands feel inadequate to help around the house because most of us wives (whether we will admit to it or not) have a certain way we like things, and often times we’ll follow our husbands around correcting everything they are not doing “our way”.  Or we simply get frustrated when we find that our husbands didn’t clean the kitchen or make the bed in the manner we like it done, and then we find ourselves asking why we asked for help in the first place.  

I believe that every woman has been tainted by feminism in one way or another.  This becomes very evident to me when wives (including myself) complain about their husbands not helping around the house, or more specifically not being able to read our minds on what we want done and how we want it done.  Getting frustrated with our husbands over issues as I have just mentioned are not sin issues in our husbands (or even character flaws) they are sin issues in us!  Often we demand or expect things of our husbands that they are not biblically required to do, nor do I believe they were created to think as we do when it comes to matters of managing the daily chores of a household.  If it were so, then God would never have created woman to be man’s helpmeet (Genesis 2:18).  Our husbands are our ministry according to Genesis 2:18, so we need to be very careful with what we demand of them and how we speak of them to other people when we are frustrated.  

My husband and I were talking about this issue last night, and he made a statement that I think rings true for most women, and I think it stems from the feminist movement and that is “Women think they are part of some “sisterhood” that allows them to complain about their husbands with other women without restraint”.  I think my husband’s observation hit the nail on the head.  As fallen women, the Lord tells us that our desire will be to lord over our husbands in an effort to control them, but that our husbands would be the ones ruling over us (Genesis 3:16).  The feminist movement has been tooting the horn that women are being oppressed by their male counterparts and thus we have ample reason to complain.  This mentality goes against everything the Lord tells us a wife should be.  

We are to love and respect our husbands (Ephesians 5).  Our husbands should be able to trust us with their honor and dignity (Proverbs 31:11).  When we tell other women, even those who we are close to, about all the faults our husbands have, we paint a less than honorable picture of our husbands which ultimately shames him and us.  This is surely not doing “good” to our husbands (Proverbs 31:12), which shows more evidence of our own selfishness, pride and sin than it does proving how uncharitable our husbands are to us.  Even in the case of an unbelieving spouse who does not have a desire to obey the Lord, the wife really needs to be careful with how she speaks of her husband, because how does she know that she won’t be the very one the Lord uses to bring salvation to her husband? (1 Corinthians 7:16).  If the believing spouse is constantly slandering her husband and airing all of his flaws and sins, then how is she being a godly helpmeet to him, especially given that she is not without sin?  

God is purposefully acting in our lives (Romans 8:28-29) and is not caught off guard by the situations we find ourselves in.  Our focus should always be on Him and not ourselves (Hebrews 12:1-2).  When we complain to others about the things that our husbands do that get on our nerves we are actually being very narcissistic, while slandering our husbands in the process.  If our husbands are sinning, then we should confront them AFTER much prayer, asking the Lord to guide us in confronting our husband through His word.  When the time comes to confront our husbands, we need to proceed in meekness with much humility and gentleness.  Mrs. Martha Peace gives some wonderful biblical advice in her book “The Excellent Wife” on how we should confront our husbands on sin issues: (p.42-44)

1.      We need to be sure to choose the right time. (Ecclesiastes 3:1,7)

2.      Make sure we are choosing the right words and not lashing out in anger and frustration. (Proverbs 15:28)

3.      We need to make sure that when we confront our husbands about a sin issue that we are also comforting to him as well. (Revelation 2:2-3)

4.      We need to be specific with what sin our husbands have committed and offer a biblical solution.  This is why we need to search the scriptures BEFORE confronting our husbands. (1 Thess. 5;18, Ephesians 4:25, Philippians 4:6, and James 1:19-20)

5.      We also need to remember to communicate a spirit of unconditional love.  No matter what sin our husbands have committed we need to show unconditional love for them, just as Christ shows towards us who belong to Him and have been given MUCH grace through His blood. (Romans 5:8)

We also need to remember that we are sinful and not perfect.  This means that our husbands have a duty to correct us as well, and how we respond to correction speaks very loudly about where our own hearts are.  “Even if your husband reproves you in an angry or unkind manner, you are still responsible before God for how you respond back” (Peace, 2005, p.45).  

One thing that every godly wife should be doing each day is praying for their husband.  I am not talking about praying that he would do things that make our lives easier!  If your husband is sinning and you have confronted him about the issue, and he continues in his sin, then you need to pray that the Lord would change His heart so that GOD will be glorified.  Either way we should be praying for our husbands.  Many of our husbands work out in the world and are constantly under attack from the enemy who seeks to destroy everything that the Lord has made good, especially our marriages.  We need to remember that many of our husbands labor very hard to provide for our needs, and even our wants.  God created woman to be a “helper suitable” for the man (Genesis 2:18).  We need to keep that in mind every day and ask ourselves “is what I am doing helping my husband or harming him?”  Slandering and complaining about the shortcomings or flaws in our husbands to others is most certainly NOT helping them, but is ultimately bringing harm to him and our families.  

Three books I recommend for wives who seek to the glorify the Lord in their marriages are “The Excellent Wife” by Martha Peace, “Passionate Housewives Desperate for God” by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald, and “Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother” by Carolyn Mahaney.  All of these books have helped me to understand the biblical role of a wife and while often times convicting, these ladies offer biblical evidence and support that have greatly encouraged me over the years.

I pray that each day you will pray that the Lord would search your heart and reveal and sin or ill will you may have towards your husband.  Ask the Lord to show you YOUR OWN short comings, and then repent of your sin.  Our husbands are our #1 ministry and we need to remember that our job is to do good to them, not harm them with slanderous words.  Soli Deo Gloria!

Serving God and My Family,

Crystal <>< (SAHM)

Happy "Early" Mother's Day to ME!

The past couple of days have been rough for me, mostly due to the Clomid and crazy hormones, but today out of all the craziness and mood swings, my sweet and wonderful husband gave me my Mother’s Day gift early.

We were walking through Sears in the mall on our way to the elevator, when we passed by the jewelry counter and Malachi noticed that everything was on sale. We stopped, like we do on occasion and fancied ourselves with a look at the pretty sparkly things. This ring popped out at both Malachi and I, and after noticing the sale price he looked at me and said “Happy Mother’s Day!”

My New Wedding Ring Set from my WONDERFUL HUSBAND

The ring’s regular price was $439.99, but my Malachi purchased it for me at $150! I love love love the ring Malachi bought me when got married, and it in itself has a story behind it and testifies to the Lord’s Divine “matchmaking”. I don’t have a traditional wedding ring set, just one ring that is antique in design (which I love!), so when we saw this set it too was perfect! During my pregnancy with Charlotte my hands swelled so much that I couldn’t wear my wedding ring…which just about killed me because I love it so much. This new ring set is a better fit for when I become pregnant again, and also allows me to have a piece of special jewelry to give to my daughters one day.

Isn't it just lovely?
I love that 1920's look

So, even in the midst of mood swings and a little drama (did I mention I hate drama?), my sweet husband managed (as always) to remind me of something that truly matters, our marriage, and how out of all the people in the world he is my best friend and I need for no one else (other than Christ of course). He reminded me today just how special he is to me, and how much I love him. He has been such a solid rock in our marriage and I am ever learning from him and he humbly guides our family in the ways of the Lord. I respect my husband to the utmost, and I am so undeserving of his love and kindness towards me. I thank the Lord each day that He divinely placed Malachi in my life at just the perfect time, and has had His hands on us through the years. He chose a man that would love me unconditionally, defend my honor and defend me with his life if the occasion ever called for it. He chose a man that would be a godly patriarch for our growing family, and who would lead us in the ways of the Lord for God’s glory alone. I am blessed beyond measure, and the Lord used my husband to remind me of that once again.

"My Beloved is mine, and I am his"

Song of Solomon 2:16

Serving God and My Family,

Crystal <>< (SAHM)