The subject of feminine apparel is always a "hot" topic that has the potential of causing such division among Christians. I wrote this article nearly 3 years ago, and even today I have such a strong conviction in regards to how I dress. After wearing skirts exclusively for 3 years now, I must say I am very glad the Lord chastened my heart in this area. I have learned so much and been able to teach my girls such sweet lessons of femininity and propriety - even in their young ages. I pray the Lord is glorified as it is He who has changed my heart.
Rescuing Femininity: Honoring God's Design
There is much that has been weighing heavily on my heart recently. The most current issue is that of Biblical Womanhood in regards to Femininity and the use of discretion in our dress (attire) and how we behave as Godly women. I must at this point state that since this subject revolves around the challenge to carefully examine our liberties in Christ, some may view my position as “legalistic”. However, since the issues that I am about to discuss are not based on earning, maintaining, or losing one’s salvation it should not be misconstrued as being legalistic. I also am not suggesting you can improve upon or add any measure of holiness to yourself by anything you do or any effort you put forth. We as believers in Christ have been given His perfect Holiness and there’s nothing we can do to improve upon it. However, we are expected to live out a Holy life (1Peter 1:13-16). This means we are to examine ourselves and ask the Lord “How can I honor You the most in fill in the blank ? ”; not “Is what I’m already comfortable doing covered under Christian liberty?”. I seek only to cause Christian women to re-evaluate what the portrait of a Godly woman looks like, acts like and thinks like. Sadly, I believe that even Christian women have in one way or another been influenced by feminism even though they may not realize it. I want to re-introduce a word that has been all but forgotten due to feminism: “propriety”.
Recently I have been convicted about my attire for each day. It is easier and often times more comfortable to just stay in my pajamas, which usually consist of a nursing shirt and some cotton pants, however, I have been wondering how this looks to my husband, my children and anyone who might happen to drop by in the middle of the day. Does it appear that I am lazy? Does it appear that I do not care about how I am outwardly presenting myself to an ever looking world?
I know how caring for small children, cleaning a home, preparing meals, and being my husband’s helpmeet can cause tiredness and not much of a desire to make my dress a priority. It actually hasn’t been much of a priority up until recently (hence the reason I am blogging). Does it matter what I wear? Or the more pressing question, does God’s Word have a position on this issue? I believe that like with everything else in the Christian life, God usually does not take a neutral position, but instead has a very firm position on all matters relating to the Christian life.
Let’s take a look at one verse in particular that is inevitably used in regards to a woman’s apparel and behavior:
1 Timothy 2:9-10 sheds some light on “how” a woman should dress, but that it is mostly her behavior that is accounted to her as godliness. However, scripture would not have mentioned dressing in “respectable apparel, dressing modestly, with propriety and decency” (ESV and NIV translations use these words) if they were not to be included in what is to be regarded as “appropriate for women who confess godliness” (v.10, NIV).
My position on this subject has changed several times since becoming a Christian, wife, and mother. In our culture there is such a clash in gender roles that it is no surprise that even “feminine apparel” cannot be defined. There used to be a time when pants were strictly for men and dresses/long skirts were strictly for women, but now in the age of “metrosexuals”, “transgendered” individuals, and other individuals who appear to have some sort of identity crisis, the lines of what is masculine and feminine are muddled. We know without a doubt what God thinks of men who are effeminate and women who seek to be masculine;
“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate , nor homosexual offenders , nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
The word “effeminate” in this verse is translated from the Greek word “malakos”, meaning “soft, that is, fine (clothing); figuratively a catamite (a boy who has a sexual relationship with a man). When Paul wrote this it was during a time when masculinity and femininity were obvious and understood by all. In today’s time these two attributes of the male and female gender seem to be interchangeable. This is certainly NOT what God had in mind when He created man and woman.
When I think of a Godly man, who exudes masculine qualities, I picture men like Abraham, Moses, David, Solomon, Samuel, Sampson, Paul, Peter and of course my Jesus. The traditional roles of a man; fighting in battle, head of the household, provider of his own family, husband and father; are all things that only men were designed to do. Why would any man want to disregard the way that God Almighty fashioned them to be? I believe it is because of feminism.
Feminism has not only emasculated men, but it has allowed for the complete redefining of gender roles. It has allowed women to burn their bras, abandon their husbands and children in the pursuit of “achievement” and admiration of the world, and yes, it has even afforded them the “unquestioned right” to don a pair of pants. There of course is nothing inherently wrong or sinful about wearing pants, but when looking back on history and what was once considered to be “feminine”, pants simply were not that.
It seems that history always repeats itself (or Satan simply hasn’t had to work harder in duping us gullible sinful folks) in the area of what is feminine and what is masculine. The Church of Corinth had the same issues that we have today, the only difference is that there aren’t very many Christians who are willing to stand up and demand a re-evaluation of what is Biblically masculine and what is Biblically feminine for fear of breaking the code of “political correctness” and trampling on someone’s “Christian liberty”.
Paul addressed this very issue when writing to the Church at Corinth. He was speaking to the Christian women who wanted to cut their hair (1 Cor 11:3-16), which happen to be what the pagan “feminists” of their day were doing. He was not saying that a woman who had short hair was in sin rather that Christian women need to appear in a manner which deliberately advertises that they acknowledge and submit to Divine authority (which includes the Biblical hierarchy of gender roles) so that they do not give the appearance of the opposite (1 Cor 11:8-10). That is what this entire post is about, using discretion in not only what we say and how we conduct ourselves, but by the way we dress, because we do not want to be labeled something we are not. The idea of women wearing pants was not an issue for debate until the feminist movement began. It was considered feminine, proper, modest and discreet for a woman to wear dresses or skirts and it was considered indecent, masculine, and rebellious for a woman to wear pants not too long ago.
Have you ever heard of or seen an Antebellum home? These homes are called “Antebellum” because they were built pre-Civil War. What is even more interesting is the reasoning behind having a two sided staircase leading to the front door. Do you know why these houses were built this way? During this time women of course only wore dresses or skirts that did not show their ankles. Before 4pm a man was not to look upon a woman’s ankles; it was considered indecent and immodest, borderline scandalous. The two sided staircase was built so that before 4pm if a gentleman and a lady were heading to the front door of a house, the gentleman would walk up the left side and the lady to the right, so that she could slightly lift her dress without the gentleman seeing her ankles. After 4pm however, it was not considered inappropriate for a man to be able to see a lady’s ankles. My, how times have changed!
In today’s world/culture it is perfectly accepted for a woman to literally wear whatever she wants or feels comfortable in. The terms “modesty”, “feminine”, “discretion”, “proper”, “discreet”, and “chaste” are simply no longer in our vocabulary. If these words are used most people believe their meanings are relative to individual preference. There seems to be no absolute standard that we can appeal to for the definition of these attributes; which I believe only perpetuates the problem. Christian women need to seriously re-evaluate this issue and come to a hard concrete position. We need to become counter cultural and refuse to just “go with the flow”. I think for many years now women within the Church have simply gone along with the change in culture, which would explain why feminism is so prevalent in our Christian churches. Patriarchy has been mocked and replaced with feminism, Biblical womanhood has been lost to the feminist movement, motherhood is under attack in our generation because we have allowed feminism to infiltrate, not just the church but our own individual lives that we can’t even discern what is feministic and what is Biblical. I am fairly sure that some women reading this blog may have already turned their nose up to what I am saying as though they have just smelled a stinky soiled diaper. Why? I believe it is because we are blind to the harsh truth that we have all in one way or another been influenced by feminism and for anyone to “rain on our parade” causes us to well up with sinful pride. No one enjoys having their beliefs examined, but I truly believe that as Christian women who have a desire and yearning to live Godly lives that cause Christ to be glorified need to re-think their positions on this subject.
What image are we trying to portray to an unbelieving world? Does the God’s word calls us to be a “peculiar people” (1 Peter 2:9)? Aren’t we supposed to act and look different than the rest of the world? I am not suggesting that we all start a commune and don uniforms, what I am saying is that dresses and skirts are MORE feminine than jeans, shorts, short skirts and pants. Yes, our heart is what God sees, but humans looks at us with their eyes and many of them look at us through unsaved, unregenerate, sinful, lustful eyes. The curves of a woman’s body should be reserved for her husband only. We don’t even want to give the appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22). This is why I have come to the conclusion that going back to the basics and reclaiming what is feminine, modest, and proper, is for Christian women to wear skirts and dresses. This is not an issue of salvation; this is an issue of discretion, discernment, and propriety. My desire is to bring honor and glory to God, and I believe one way to do this outwardly is to really make sure that my clothes are feminine and modest.
I have actually found that wearing skirts and dresses have made me feel more feminine. It requires that I sit in a decent manner, and I do carry myself very differently when I am wearing a skirt or a dress. I have also come to the conclusion that long skirts are truly more modest than short skirts. I don’t have to worry so much about anyone being able to see up my skirt when I do sit down. No one can tell what kind of undergarments I am wearing; I bring this up because often times when a woman is wearing pants (or shorts) and she bends down the top of her underwear poke out. It is very easy to tell if she has on full coverage underwear or thongs. I am sure we can all agree this is not modesty. I have become more aware of the shirts that I wear and have begun to choose ones that if I were to bend over (which many moms do with small children) no one can see inside my shirt. Everything about the way I think of how a Christian woman should dress has changed. I can easily go back through pictures from a little as two years ago and see a huge difference in my appearance. I will be the first one to say I did not make an effort to dress femininely or modestly.
I must caution that the issue of how we dress can become an idol and cause us to miss the boat completely. I am not suggesting that Christian women become so caught up in how they dress that they are constantly worrying if they are less godly of a woman should they choose to wear pants. That is not my intention with this post. I simply believe that ALL CHRISTIAN WOMEN need to seriously re-evaluate why they wear what they wear and do they give thought as to if it honors God or not. I can most assuredly say that God does care what we wear and how we are presenting ourselves to the rest of the world. We are His Bride and should not only conduct ourselves as such in speech, action and thought, but also by how we dress.
Nancy Leigh Demoss has a great series about this subject that you can listen to at Revive Our Hearts. The series is under the section “Modesty: Does God Really Care What I Wear?” Here are a few more articles that are related to this topic if you are interested in really re-evaluating your personal position:
How Do We Want Posterity To Remember Us? (From LAF)
What Do We Teach Our Little Girls? (The Sydney Morning Herald)
A letter from Christian Guys (Fearlessly Feminine Blog)
Mrs. McDonald over at “Your Sacred Calling” has a few posts on the subject of Modesty. You can check them out here.
I hope that this post has not just ruffled feathers, but has actually caused Christian women to stop, think and re-visit what it really means to be Biblically Feminine. I understand that we have Christian Liberty, but should we so quickly pull that card to justify what we are wearing without first seeing if God has a position on it. The condition of the heart is important and the motives for doing anything are always questionable. Everything that we do should be done as unto the Lord, and not for our own personal gain. This reminds me of being called to die to ourselves daily. This life simply isn’t about us. This is why I think the issue of how Christian women present themselves to the world is so important. All the world is looking at Christians and scrutinizing their every word and deed. We are to be set apart and distinct; we should stand out as a peculiar people from an unbelieving world. We are to be like a “city on a hill”, unable of being hidden like the light of a candle (Matthew 5:14-16).
As I have gone about writing this post, I noticed as I was out and about in our community that I was more aware not only of how others looked at me depending on what I was wearing, but how I looked at other women based on how they were dressed. We make determinations about something or a person based on how they are dressed whether we want to admit it or not. When we see a man in a police uniform, we make the automatic judgment that he is a police officer sworn to uphold and defend the law. When we see a young woman in a white dress walking down the isle of a church, we automatically make the judgment that she is a bride getting married. There are particular colors and clothing that gang members wear to set themselves apart from the rest of the world in an effort to be intimidating. Military servicemen have uniforms that are particular to the branch of service they are in. Everyone knows what proper and acceptable dress is for all occasions, why can’t women understand that the way they dress DOES send a message to everyone who sees them.
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I know for many this is not a “pleasant” topic, and some may even think that their Christian liberty is under attack. For others this post has given them something to think about and they genuinely want to seek God’s position on it. (I believe He DOES indeed have a position on it) I also understand that this will not be something that Christian women will change overnight. I strongly encourage all Christian women to go before the Lord in prayer, casting the idea of Christian liberty aside and really seek out what the “right” answer is in regards to feminine dress. I do not believe the answer is relative to one’s own personal taste because of the times we live in. Lines certainly need to be drawn and I truly believe that in our day and age we need to be more “hardcore” (as my husband calls it) about our walk with Christ. The way we present ourselves to the world in word, deed and appearance are all important, especially to the next generation that we are raising. Our daughters need to see Biblical femininity and how to apply it to their daily lives. We can “turn the tide” on feminism and teach our daughters to embrace how God intended us to live. Our daughters can love all things feminine and can learn to make the appropriate distinctions between what is truly feminine and what is masculine based on scripture, not based on secular feminism.
I understand I may have lost the support of more than half my audience here…probably within the first paragraph, and then there are others who will leave comments to the effect of “but I like my jeans”; to both I say, “ok”, but can you see how the wearing of pants by women did not come about until the dawn of feminism? Also, if you find yourself appealing to sarcastic hyperbole’s such as “Well why don’t we all just go burn our wardrobe, synch up the corset, slip into an 80 lb. dress, and go churn some milk into butter while we’re at it?” then you’ve deliberately missed the point and are mocking it only because you know it applies to you. Don’t be deceived, women have been a favorite target of the enemy’s since Eve, and he won’t stop until he completely destroys the feminine beauty God designed and placed in each one of us women. So, come on girls, let’s refuse to be victimized by the enemy any longer and take back femininity from feminism.
Serving God and My Family,
Crystal <><
