Expectations

Do you ever have days where you feel as though you will never accomplish those things you have planned to do?  It seems that lately that is exactly what I am going through.  This often leaves me feeling inadequate and guilty.  The past few weeks, possibly months, I just can’t seem to keep up and I find myself trying to achieve other’s expectations.  While I write a lot on how a Godly wife and mother is supposed to live her life and manage her home, I fall short daily.  There are days when my daughters and I never get out of our pajamas and all we eat all day is cereal.  I read about all the other awesome mothers who seem to have it all together and neatly wrapped into a magnificent schedule, and complete their duties without breaking a sweat.  (Or at least that is the perception that my mind interprets.) 

 

I am learning that simply is not reality in the season where a mother is pregnant and has little ones to care for throughout the day.  Our houses should look lived in, and we need to learn to prioritize the important tasks in our lives.  This will ultimately eliminate our stresses and give us more realistic expectations that are tailored to our own family’s needs.  Of course, all that we do is for the glory of the Lord alone, and so long as we keep this in mind, it keeps our egos from floating off into the clouds.  

Mrs. Susan Bradrick taught on this very subject and after I listened to it (with my husband) we both agreed that we need to come together and make a list of those things that are essentials and “must do’s” in our home.  After sitting down with my husband I soon realized that the expectations I had for myself and the things I thought were “essentials” were not so important to my husband.  This actually eliminated a lot of stress for me.  

Accompanying Mrs. Bradrick’s teaching session on “Twenty-Four Hours is all You Get” are helpful worksheets that aid in the process of determining those things within your home that are essential or “must do” tasks.  You can order your copy of the session on audio CD through Vision Forum for $10, or you can buy the entire 3 pack set on sale for $21.  I have found all three resources quite helpful in understanding how to manage my time and my home without trying to achieve someone else’s standard or expectations.  I must add that having my husband’s opinion was of great encouragement.  

I also think that we need to keep the end goal in mind.  Is our goal simply to have an orderly and tidy home, or is it to honor God by bringing glory to Him alone?  If it is the former, then we have missed the mark completely.  Cleanliness is NOT next to godliness…Godliness is next to Godliness.  Our little ones will not stay little forever and we need to remember that one of our goals is to invest in them.  If you are pregnant and feeling worn out and find it next to impossible to get anything done, remember that you will not be pregnant forever.  Ask for help when necessary; remember that during this season our bodies slow down a bit…it is working overtime to care for a baby in the womb.  There will always be laundry, dirty dishes, floors that need to be mopped, windows that need to be cleaned, etc.; but our babies won’t always be babies.  Find out what your husband’s expectations are for your home.  Sit down together and prioritize the chores of the house so that you won’t feel so overwhelmed when the day begins.  My husband actually doesn’t mind coming home to toys all over the place.  He says it is a blessed reminder that there are small children scampering around.  Dirty dishes in the sink don’t bother him at the moment because he recognizes that I am worn out most of the day.  If I need help, I have learned to ask him.  If he can’t do it, or is unwilling to do it (rarely) then I cannot fault him for not being on the ready to do a task that isn’t his task.  He usually makes my sleep and rest a priority over dirty dishes or fingerprinted windows.  Paper plates and plastic utensils have saved me stress many a times.  Loading the dishwasher a few times a day is not shameful!  If what I wore the day before is not dirty, then I re-wear it; also having a pajama day (or two, or three) cuts back on the amount of laundry that needs to be done.  

I highly recommend Mrs. Bradrick’s teachings, and hope that if you do choose to purchase them that they encourage you as much as they have me.

Serving God and My Family,

Crystal <>< (SAHM)