Sleepless Nights and Trusting the Lord

Sleep is a constant battle these days. It seems to be a luxury that most women in their third trimester (including myself) are not afforded. I do believe it may be the Lord’s way of preparing us for nursing every 2 to 3 hours. However, there are nights the idea of not sleeping at all frightens me. This is when the enemy (in my opinion) loves to take his shots on pregnant women. During pregnancy I would say all women are physically vulnerable to clumsiness, sickness and other mishaps. The biggest vulnerability however, is spiritually. Throughout scripture we are given many examples of remaining steadfast in the faith and putting on the FULL armor of God in order to combat the enemies constant scheming. The enemy prowls around seeking to destroy us daily and thus we are always to be on guard. Pregnancy, while it is a blessed experience, it is also a vulnerable time for any woman. Feelings of fear and worry can creep in and we then can fall prey to relying on “self” instead of the Lord. This is when we really need to "take every thought captive". (2 Corinthians 10:5)

In my experience with pregnancy (5 times) each time has been completely different than the last. My first pregnancy I was on cloud 9 the day we saw the positive pregnancy test. My husband and I were just so over come with joy that not once did we fear that we would have any complications. At 10 weeks I miscarried and was rushed into surgery right away because we did not know that the baby had been dead for a few weeks at that point and it was causing my blood to become toxic. From that moment on each time we became pregnant, fear was the first reaction instead of that “cloud 9” joy. I began to doubt that God would ever allow me to carry a child to term. This is where my sin began and the battle with Satan began, and could have potentially defeated me. However, as I serve a Just and Good God, He placed people in my life that encouraged me with the Word of God and challenged me spiritually in ways I had never been challenged. The challenge was to trust the Lord and serve Him whether I ever saw the fruit of my womb or not. This was very difficult for me, as I am a selfish person. (We all are by the way) I found myself in a huge pickle. How could I trust this awesomely huge God who is by nature Just and Good to save my soul but not reward me with the children I longed for? This is when I learned that my trust in the Lord is based on taking Him at His word. My faith in the Lord is not based on the miracles and wonders He blesses my life with. My faith in the Lord is not determined by which prayers He chooses to answer and which prayers He chooses not to answer. I believe in our day this is something many people never consider. This may be why many people fall prey to the “name it claim” groups. We cannot strong arm God into giving us what we want. I believe that the desire to have children is from the Lord as it is HE who is the Author of life. I also believe we can take that God given desire and twist it and make it about us, instead of about Him.

So, as I continue to have sleepless nights and achy hips that click each time I walk, I will trust the Lord and rely on HIM alone for the rest I need. He is a faithful God and does everything for my good and HIS glory. This too is only for a season and inspite of my spiritual vulnerability the Lord is my strength and my refuge. The enemy has tried many times to “take me out”, but it is the Lord who has conquered the enemy, so what do I have to fear?

"And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake, for when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9 and 10

Serving God and My Family,

Crystal <>< (SAHM)